ANOTHER MONTH FLIES BY
11:55a | 11.30.25
So November just came and went in a blink of an eye. Wow. Last time I updated, there was a lot going on all at once and things felt overwhelming. It has slowly been getting better, though the stress hasn't fully disappeared just yet. But organizing my 2026 plans has given me some hope for the coming year. I have a lot of goals for 2026, including streaming regularly again, promoting, printing and publishing my webcomic and getting my house in order. I haven't done much to the website lately, though I have a sub site I am currently coding which will be connected to my Vtuber. I hope to streamline my extras page with more graphics for links and a few other little things.
I finally have a redebut date for Twitch. I should be live on Jan 14th, 7p EST. Still trying to figure out what I will be doing for my redebut stream outside of the usual powerpoint presentation introduction. I have some big plans for streaming next year, including playing some games which chat will be able to interact with. I have my model fully rigged by my amazing rig artist, Nakauji. They went above and beyond working with me to have my Koysona come to life. I have most my assets complete and I am super excited to be streaming again.
As for my webcomic, I sadly have fallen far behind where I want to be with my reboot, but I also attribute that to the nearly 4 month period of depression I had to fight with. Life takes over sometimes and it is okay to fall behind when you need to take care of yourself first. I am really excited to debut my V3 of the comic site as well. I have worked to make the site more responsive for mobile, though I am still learning that aspect of coding. I do plan to have my reboot uploaded on the site by Feb 2026.
I am really feeling confident and motivated as we finish off this year. I am so excited for what 2026 has to offer!
11:55a | 11.30.25
So November just came and went in a blink of an eye. Wow. Last time I updated, there was a lot going on all at once and things felt overwhelming. It has slowly been getting better, though the stress hasn't fully disappeared just yet. But organizing my 2026 plans has given me some hope for the coming year. I have a lot of goals for 2026, including streaming regularly again, promoting, printing and publishing my webcomic and getting my house in order. I haven't done much to the website lately, though I have a sub site I am currently coding which will be connected to my Vtuber. I hope to streamline my extras page with more graphics for links and a few other little things.
I finally have a redebut date for Twitch. I should be live on Jan 14th, 7p EST. Still trying to figure out what I will be doing for my redebut stream outside of the usual powerpoint presentation introduction. I have some big plans for streaming next year, including playing some games which chat will be able to interact with. I have my model fully rigged by my amazing rig artist, Nakauji. They went above and beyond working with me to have my Koysona come to life. I have most my assets complete and I am super excited to be streaming again.
As for my webcomic, I sadly have fallen far behind where I want to be with my reboot, but I also attribute that to the nearly 4 month period of depression I had to fight with. Life takes over sometimes and it is okay to fall behind when you need to take care of yourself first. I am really excited to debut my V3 of the comic site as well. I have worked to make the site more responsive for mobile, though I am still learning that aspect of coding. I do plan to have my reboot uploaded on the site by Feb 2026.
I am really feeling confident and motivated as we finish off this year. I am so excited for what 2026 has to offer!
LIFE IS DOING THAT THING WHERE IT TESTS ME...
11:30a | 10.30.25
Wow. So much happened in the span of one month that has utterly destroyed me both mentally and financially. I haven't been able to really get any form of rest since my last update. It's like one thing after another, if I get any semblance of normalcy or relaxation, it is immediately crushed with some bad news. Our toll pass to drive on our highway deleted my autopay function, racked up a massive bill, never informed me and sent it to a collection agency. It was a massive pain in my ass to get that resolved. Our massive car insurance payment got taken out of our account and the very next day my husband gets into a car accident. Woo-Hoo!! My job is cutting my hours and I have to fight with management and my union since my job is once again doing shady shit with our pay and promotions...
Venting aside, I really hate how it feels like the universe is testing my patience with all of this. I really haven't had any time to work on my webcomic, which I originally wanted to have prepped for print. I know it's not that big of a deal, I can just upload what I currently have and work from there...It just bothers me as I set myself a deadline without realizing my life would be in turmoil for like half the year. I have a few other projects under my belt I want to accomplish, including another webcomic series which will function more as an anthology, with smaller stories and not as much of a longterm commitment as my main comic. I also plan to stream weekly starting in 2026. I want to accomplish so many things, but the older I get, the more I realize I do not have the same energy I did 5 years ago...
On the bright side though, I do have hope that all this negativity around me will eventually fade. It is very hard to stay happy in the current world we live in, especially when you watch your government just act like total fools. But you have to have hope, because if you don't, things will feel meaningless. I actually saw a comment on a youtube video not too long ago that I actually really liked. "Optimistic Nihilism" Meaning, yeah nothing matters, so you can do whatever you want. I kind of liked that sentiment.
11:30a | 10.30.25
Wow. So much happened in the span of one month that has utterly destroyed me both mentally and financially. I haven't been able to really get any form of rest since my last update. It's like one thing after another, if I get any semblance of normalcy or relaxation, it is immediately crushed with some bad news. Our toll pass to drive on our highway deleted my autopay function, racked up a massive bill, never informed me and sent it to a collection agency. It was a massive pain in my ass to get that resolved. Our massive car insurance payment got taken out of our account and the very next day my husband gets into a car accident. Woo-Hoo!! My job is cutting my hours and I have to fight with management and my union since my job is once again doing shady shit with our pay and promotions...
Venting aside, I really hate how it feels like the universe is testing my patience with all of this. I really haven't had any time to work on my webcomic, which I originally wanted to have prepped for print. I know it's not that big of a deal, I can just upload what I currently have and work from there...It just bothers me as I set myself a deadline without realizing my life would be in turmoil for like half the year. I have a few other projects under my belt I want to accomplish, including another webcomic series which will function more as an anthology, with smaller stories and not as much of a longterm commitment as my main comic. I also plan to stream weekly starting in 2026. I want to accomplish so many things, but the older I get, the more I realize I do not have the same energy I did 5 years ago...
On the bright side though, I do have hope that all this negativity around me will eventually fade. It is very hard to stay happy in the current world we live in, especially when you watch your government just act like total fools. But you have to have hope, because if you don't, things will feel meaningless. I actually saw a comment on a youtube video not too long ago that I actually really liked. "Optimistic Nihilism" Meaning, yeah nothing matters, so you can do whatever you want. I kind of liked that sentiment.
A PERSONAL UPDATE
3:00p | 9.17.25
As you can tell, I have reorganized my journal section of my site. I wanted to make subsections of my journals from now on. This section will be meant for longer more rambly discussions I want to have. My microblog section will be shorter and more for quick rants and whining. I also created a space for my vent art and doodles. I want my site to be as organized as possible for myself. My thoughts are always scrambled, so organizing them properly here gives me a sense of control and comfort.
My life lately has not been going well. My depression put me into a spiral starting from July up until now. I do believe I am better than I was before, but I still find myself struggling to keep my head above water. I have felt like my life is out of my own control lately. I attribute a lot of that lack of control to the current state of the world as well as the corruption at my job which makes it hard to come into work everyday without feeling miserable. I am praying I get the promotion I deserve soon so I will no longer have to stress about remedial things at my job. As for the current political climate where I am at...I am at a loss. So much happening and it feels hopeless. I don't want to feel hopeless. I've gotten with my communities and it seems we all are feeling similar sentiments as we continue to fight for our own freedoms.
I have been trying to be more introspective lately. These last few months I have become a bit of a hermit; avoiding my friends and family as much as possible. I don't want them to see me in the current mental state that I am in. Lately, I have felt a little better though and I have made a few plans to see old friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. In fact, one called me the other day seeking advice and wanted to make plans to see each other again. They made a few comments to me that made me want to cry. It was a reassuring feeling knowing I can make someone feel the way they do. It gave me hope and brightened my day.
In all, I just want to feel better. I want my country to be better. I am tired of seeing evil and hateful mindsets take over so many people around me. I hope things will be better in a few months. The holidays are coming up, and those always cheer me up. I should be in a better spot mentally in a few months, if I keep working on it.
3:00p | 9.17.25
As you can tell, I have reorganized my journal section of my site. I wanted to make subsections of my journals from now on. This section will be meant for longer more rambly discussions I want to have. My microblog section will be shorter and more for quick rants and whining. I also created a space for my vent art and doodles. I want my site to be as organized as possible for myself. My thoughts are always scrambled, so organizing them properly here gives me a sense of control and comfort.
My life lately has not been going well. My depression put me into a spiral starting from July up until now. I do believe I am better than I was before, but I still find myself struggling to keep my head above water. I have felt like my life is out of my own control lately. I attribute a lot of that lack of control to the current state of the world as well as the corruption at my job which makes it hard to come into work everyday without feeling miserable. I am praying I get the promotion I deserve soon so I will no longer have to stress about remedial things at my job. As for the current political climate where I am at...I am at a loss. So much happening and it feels hopeless. I don't want to feel hopeless. I've gotten with my communities and it seems we all are feeling similar sentiments as we continue to fight for our own freedoms.
I have been trying to be more introspective lately. These last few months I have become a bit of a hermit; avoiding my friends and family as much as possible. I don't want them to see me in the current mental state that I am in. Lately, I have felt a little better though and I have made a few plans to see old friends whom I haven't seen in a very long time. In fact, one called me the other day seeking advice and wanted to make plans to see each other again. They made a few comments to me that made me want to cry. It was a reassuring feeling knowing I can make someone feel the way they do. It gave me hope and brightened my day.
In all, I just want to feel better. I want my country to be better. I am tired of seeing evil and hateful mindsets take over so many people around me. I hope things will be better in a few months. The holidays are coming up, and those always cheer me up. I should be in a better spot mentally in a few months, if I keep working on it.
k0yfish © koy boi